P.C.Pop with Pablo

Posts Tagged ‘Men’

Father’s Day – Hey Groupon, I Ain’t That Guy!

In father's day, fatherhood, Malavenda, Men, Pablo Malavenda, parenting on June 19, 2016 at 6:20 am

fathersdayAs Father’s Day approaches — I once again have to accept the fact that I am not a “typical” dad. And my kids are used to explaining that our family is a bit “weird.”

Thanks to “Deal of the Day” websites and e-newsletters like Groupon & Living Social — we are further reminded of the stuff and activities that dads are supposed to like.

Groupon not only has Father’s Day deals that include cigars, meat (steaks), sports equipment, watches, recliners, grills, grilling tools, chain saws, lawn mowers, car detailing, beard grooming stuff, all kinds of things to help me carry my beer and keep it cold, and yes, ties — but they also have a post entitled, The Guide to Father’s Day Gifts. Groupon wants my kids to take me boxing, race go-carts, start a wood working project, jump out of a plane (tandem sky dive), taste a bunch of beers…and go to the shooting range (yes, guns), golf course, batting cage, rock climbing wall, go-cart track, etc. Not to mention that Home Depot, Lowe’s and Menard’s keep sending me emails promoting their gift cards as great Father’s Day gifts. Really?

Now, truth be told — I do enjoy some of these things, a few of these activities, and enjoy an occasional trip to the “hardware” store — BUT is this what they really think about fathers. Is this it? To be fair, Groupon has a deal for facials but they listed it under “wildcard” father’s day gifts.

These “Deals of the Day” sites have taken it to a new level.

My frustration stems from the fact that I was raised as a progressive, Mediterranean-American male – who does NOT fit any of the stereotypes of the typical man as defined by Groupon, the greeting card industry or by any marketing that is gender-based.


Greeting cards are the worst though. In general greeting cards reinforce all of the worst negative stereotypes about men, women, and several other historically oppressed peoples. Standing in the card store in front of the rack filled with greeting cards, I momentarily feel inadequate, left out, odd, and less than a man. I don’t golf, fish, drink beer, or demand dinner when I get home from a long day in the office. I DO cook and bake well; I work around the house; I respect my life partner (and still love her a lot); I love being a dad; I do laundry, iron, and put away clothes; I fill and empty the sink and dishwasher; I dress myself; and I put the toilet seat back down. Eventually I realize that I am very, very OK with NOT being the “guy.”


1963ish1 (2)My male role models in my family were studs – but they were respectful of their partners; they were romantic; could cook and did often; and dressed very well. They hugged and kissed their kids every day, said I love you to their wives, and went shopping, did laundry, and made dinner. Of course roles in relationships were different in the 1950’s, 1960’s, and 1970’s – but I am a combination of their great traits and the expectations of modern times. Why then do the greeting card writers and marketing gurus still perpetuate these archaic, primitive, unenlightened behaviors featuring beer loving, Neanderthals, sloths, chauvinists who can’t cook and prefer hunting and fishing and golfing more than being with their family?

So what’s up? I doubt if the only Father who doesn’t fit their mold is me. I am sure there are other Fathers, perhaps the majority of Fathers, who can’t relate to the males depicted in these greeting cards. In such a competitive, commercial, and capitalistic industry – if it didn’t sell, they wouldn’t keep making them. So, who are these guys? – And who’s buying these cards or this stuff on Groupon? Are we just so lazy that we can do nothing more than surrender to the negative stereotypes of Dads? – No matter how offensive it is to both men and women.

Or it is that I – once again – am the only one who cares? (Probably not.)

So, now I must go and bake for the church brunch, hug my wife, do the laundry, drive my son to band practice, call my mom, text my wife that “she’s beautiful and I miss her,” sew my daughter’s shirt, tutor my kids in math, go grocery shopping, and get dinner ready for the family.

This is what this Father is doing – so, call us weird — but there are NO complaints here — because I’ve got the BEST job in the entire world!


Read more stories about growing up in my family and our traditions, check out these PC Pop posts:


Father’s Day – I (still) Ain’t That Guy!

In father's day, fatherhood, Malavenda, Men, Pablo Malavenda, parenting on June 14, 2014 at 11:34 pm

happyFathersDay2014

You’re family’s weird — we overheard our son’s best friend say to him on speaker phone. What do you mean? Max asked. Well, his friend said, your dad is baking for church and your mom is outside cutting the lawn. Max then replied — yeah, my family breaks all the stereotypes.

Only two days ago, when I was explaining to a friend that I was having the hardest time finding anyone to fix the concrete steps at my church — she  replied — just do it yourself. My response was — you obviously don’t know me. I am handy around the house and all — but install a set of concrete steps — are you kidding?

Then there is the media and memes and greeting cards — I ain’t that guy!!

Greeting cards in general reinforce many negative stereotypes about men, women, and several other historically oppressed peoples. We may have come a long way from the racial and ethnic stereotypes in mainstream cards but problems still exist. As a feminist and a father of a daughter, I am aware of the role of women and girls in greeting cards as well as the images, colors, and characters used for girls versus boys. It starts with from conception with Baby Congratulations cards and continues on through Father’s Day and Mother’s Day cards, Anniversary cards, and general Birthday cards. Our best friend and his wife just welcomed a new baby girl, and we could only find a Minnie Mouse congratulations card – no Mickey – and of course it was pink. (There was a Mickey Mouse card but it was for a new born boy and it was blue).

Personally, there are two times a year I dread going shopping for greeting cards. One is my wedding anniversary and the other is for Mother’s Day. I also get frustrated during Father’s Day by all of the marketing and sales. It’s a great time to buy power tools, a lawn mower, a grill, golf clubs, hunting gear – because it is all on sale – for Fathers – but I Ain’t That Guy. My frustration stems from the fact that I was raised as a progressive, Mediterranean-American male – who does NOT fit any of the stereotypes of the typical man as defined by the greeting card industry or by any marketing that is gender-based.

Standing in the card store in front of the rack filled with greeting cards, I momentarily feel inadequate, left out, odd, and less than a man. I don’t golf, fish, drink beer, or demand dinner when I get home from a long day in the office. I DO cook and bake well; I work around the house; I respect my life partner (and still love her a lot); I love being a dad; I do laundry, iron, and put away clothes; I fill and empty the sink and dishwasher; I dress myself and do it pretty well; and I put the toilet seat back down. Eventually I realize that I am very, very OK with NOT being the “guy” in the Father’s Day, Mother’s Day or Wedding Anniversary cards. After a few minutes of browsing cards in our local greeting card store and online, I noticed some themes.


The message I saw is that Real Fathers:

  • Eat Beef not veggies
  • Don’t Cook – unless it is an Outdoor Grill or Deep Fried Turkey
  • Sit in Recliners
  • Sleep in Hammocks
  • Try to get out of doing Chores
  • Golf
  • Fish
  • Drink Beer
  • Leave the toilet seat up
  • Won’t Change a Diaper
  • Can’t Dress Themselves
  • Aren’t Romantic
  • Don’t Bake – unless you count pancakes from a mix
  • Demand Dinner after a long, hard day at work
  • Are Lazy, unorganized
  • Love cars (over human life partners)
  • Burp, Fart, Spend a lot of time in the bathroom, Snore
  • Lounge in underwear
  • Have bad tempers – Yell at their wives
  • Are not affectionate — don’t kiss, hold hands, hug
  • Love Bacon
  • Leer at young women in bikinis
  • Have a mustache
  • Need more tools
  • Smoke a pipe
  • Shoot guns
  • Insult their wives – joke about their weight, hair, looks, gray hair, cooking, etc.
  • Are mostly white, stupid, and straight

1963ish1 (2)My male role models in my family were studs – but they were respectful of their partners; they were romantic; could cook and did often; and dressed very well. They hugged and kissed their kids every day, said I love you to their wives, and went shopping, did laundry, and made dinner. Of course roles in relationships were different in the 1950’s, 1960’s, and 1970’s – but I am a combination of their great traits and the expectations of modern times. Why then do the greeting card writers and marketing gurus still perpetuate these archaic, primitive, unenlightened behaviors featuring beer loving, Neanderthals, sloths, chauvinists who can’t cook and prefer hunting and fishing and golfing more than being with their family?

So what’s up? I doubt if the only Father who doesn’t fit their mold is me. I am sure there are other Fathers, perhaps the majority of Fathers, who can’t relate to the males depicted in these greeting cards. In such a competitive, commercial, and capitalistic industry – if it didn’t sell, they wouldn’t keep making them. So, who are these guys? – And who’s buying these cards? Are we just so lazy that we can do nothing more than laugh at the negative stereotypes of Dads? – No matter how offensive it is to both men and women. Are we not protesting enough to see a more aggressive movement to influence change with the current messages in greeting cards – and the negative stereotypes that they are reinforcing? Or it is that I – once again – am the only one who cares? (Probably not.)

So, now I must go and bake for the church brunch, hug my wife, do the laundry, drive my son to cross country practice, call my mom, text my wife that “she’s beautiful and I miss her,” sew my daughter’s shirt, tutor my kids in math, go grocery shopping, and get dinner ready for the family.

This is what this Father is doing – so, call us weird — but there are NO complaints here — because I’ve got the BEST job in the entire world!


 

Read more stories about growing up in my family and our traditions, check out these PC Pop posts:


Father’s Day – I Ain’t That Guy!

In father's day, fatherhood, Malavenda, Men, Pablo Malavenda, parenting on June 17, 2012 at 12:28 am

Greeting cards in general reinforce many negative stereotypes about men, women, and several other historically oppressed peoples. We may have come a long way from the racial and ethnic stereotypes in mainstream cards but problems still exist. As a feminist and a father of a daughter, I am aware of the role of women and girls in greeting cards as well as the images, colors, and characters used for girls versus boys. It starts with from conception with Baby Congratulations cards and continues on through Father’s Day and Mother’s Day cards, Anniversary cards, and general Birthday cards. Our best friend and his wife just welcomed a new baby girl, and we could only find a Minnie Mouse congratulations card – no Mickey – and of course it was pink. (There was a Mickey Mouse card but it was for a new born boy and it was blue).

Personally, there are two times a year I dread going shopping for greeting cards. One is my wedding anniversary and the other is for Mother’s Day. I also get frustrated during Father’s Day by all of the marketing and sales. It’s a great time to buy power tools, a lawn mower, a grill, golf clubs, hunting gear – because it is all on sale – for Fathers – but I Ain’t That Guy. My frustration stems from the fact that I was raised as a progressive, Mediterranean-American male – who does NOT fit any of the stereotypes of the typical man as defined by the greeting card industry or by any marketing that is gender-based.

Standing in the card store in front of the rack filled with greeting cards, I momentarily feel inadequate, left out, odd, and less than a man. I don’t golf, fish, drink beer, or demand dinner when I get home from a long day in the office. I DO cook and bake well; I work around the house; I respect my life partner (and still love her a lot); I love being a dad; I do laundry, iron, and put away clothes; I fill and empty the sink and dishwasher; I dress myself and do it pretty well; and I put the toilet seat back down. Eventually I realize that I am very, very OK with NOT being the “guy” in the Father’s Day, Mother’s Day or Wedding Anniversary cards. After a few minutes of browsing cards in our local greeting card store and online, I noticed some themes.


The message I saw is that Real Fathers:

  • Eat Beef not veggies
  • Don’t Cook – unless it is an Outdoor Grill or Deep Fried Turkey
  • Sit in Recliners
  • Sleep in Hammocks
  • Try to get out of doing Chores
  • Golf
  • Fish
  • Drink Beer
  • Leave the toilet seat up
  • Won’t Change a Diaper
  • Can’t Dress Themselves
  • Aren’t Romantic
  • Don’t Bake – unless you count pancakes from a mix
  • Demand Dinner after a long, hard day at work
  • Are Lazy, unorganized
  • Love cars (over human life partners)
  • Burp, Fart, Spend a lot of time in the bathroom, Snore
  • Lounge in underwear
  • Have bad tempers – Yell at their wives
  • Are not affectionate — don’t kiss, hold hands, hug
  • Love Bacon
  • Leer at young women in bikinis
  • Have a mustache
  • Need more tools
  • Smoke a pipe
  • Insult their wives – joke about their weight, hair, looks, gray hair, cooking, etc.
  • Are mostly white, stupid, and straight

My male role models in my family were studs – but they were respectful of their partners; they were romantic; could cook and did often; and dressed very well. They hugged and kissed their kids every day, said I love you to their wives, and went shopping, did laundry, and made dinner. Of course roles in relationships were different in the 1950’s, 1960’s, and 1970’s – but I am a combination of their great traits and the expectations of modern times. Why then do the greeting card writers and marketing gurus still perpetuate these archaic, primitive, unenlightened behaviors featuring beer loving, Neanderthals, sloths, chauvinists who can’t cook and prefer hunting and fishing and golfing more than being with their family?

So what’s up? I doubt if the only Father who doesn’t fit their mold is me. I am sure there are other Fathers, perhaps the majority of Fathers, who can’t relate to the males depicted in these greeting cards. In such a competitive, commercial, and capitalistic industry – if it didn’t sell, they wouldn’t keep making them. So, who are these guys? – And who’s buying these cards? Are we just so lazy that we can do nothing more than laugh at the negative stereotypes of Dads? – No matter how offensive it is to both men and women. Are we not protesting enough to see a more aggressive movement to influence change with the current messages in greeting cards – and the negative stereotypes that they are reinforcing? Or it is that I – once again – am the only one who cares? (Probably not.)

So, now I must go and bake a cake for my daughter’s birthday, hug my wife, do the laundry, drive my son to his guitar lessons, text my wife that “she’s beautiful and I miss her,” tutor my kids in math, go grocery shopping, and get dinner ready for the family. This is what this Father is doing – and NO complaints here — because it is the BEST job in the entire world!


 

Read more stories about growing up in my family and our traditions, check out these PC Pop posts:


Pinterest, I’m Outnumbered

In Books, Lists, Malavenda, marketing, Men, Pablo Malavenda, Pinterest, social media, Survivor, Uncategorized on April 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

Pinterest


Recently I raised my bushy man eyebrows at the latest news about Pinterest.  The media has reported that 90% of the Pinterest users are women – and then there’s me.  On Pinterest, I’m Outnumbered! Personally I feel like the luckiest guy on the inter-webs because the odds are in my favor (JK).  For me though it is just one more time where I find myself surrounded by women and quite OK with it.  When I was growing up, the men in my family were the ones in the kitchen.  Not that the women in my family didn’t cook but the men felt just as comfortable in the kitchen cooking the Sunday family feast as did the women.  In high school, when given a choice of elective classes, I wanted to be with the women so I chose “sewing” and “cooking” classes over shop and wood-working. In college after a failed attempt at chemistry I ended up in psychology with a majority of women.  And today, you can find me in the kitchen, doing the weekly grocery shopping, and more likely to bake cookies for the softball team than coaching the team (which my wife does willingly and well).  So it was not much of a surprise to me that I am outnumbered 9 to 1 on Pinterest — and surrounded by women.

I do quite a bit of consulting on social media, communications and marketing; and therefore, explore most of the new emerging sites push pinlike Pinterest. Similar to Twitter (and years ago with MySpace), I did not really see the value in Pinterest at first. The main reason I was drawn to Pinterest was to cross-market my content on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and WordPress. I soon realized that it is quite addictive. I am intrigued and slightly obsessed with Lists.  Pinterest is an ideal platform for list-o-maniacs.  Within a short time, I created boards based on lists like: My Favorite Books, Celebrities I’ve Met, People I Admire, Favorite Places in NYC, Cars I’ve Owned, etc.  In some cases I created the lists from PC Pop blog posts of mine.  This is a great way to get started on Pinterest with minimal effort.

What I have found from my limited use of Pinterest is that it is useful for collectors (and hoarders).  If you have a number of recipes that you refer to often online, Pinterest gives you a place to collect them, store them, share them, and easily retrieve them whenever you need them.  My favorite guacamole is Alton Brown’s recipe which is posted somewhere on the Food Network website.  Each time I need it, I have to do a Google search and hopefully find it.  Well, now, Pinterest allows me to create a “recipe” board and pin Alton’s guacamole recipe – very convenient.  Pinterest has also become my “go to” web-place to search for recipes.  If you search Pinterest, you get quite a few hits and the results have photos and reviews right there at your finger-tips.

I have noticed though that there are a gazillion blogs about food, and these bloggers repost other people’s recipes.  They credit the original chef and link to the original post of the recipe but it is bit annoying.  It’s annoying because you may have to click through a Pixar's Cars 2 - Mater Sandwichcouple of blog posts before you find the original recipe.  The other thing I have noticed is there are a lot of very ambitious DIY bloggers who share their latest theme-related, holiday craft project to do with your kids.  These craft projects are beautiful and inspiring but how in the world would anyone (especially a parent) find the time to do all of these things with your kids.  Personally I struggle getting the Pumpkins carved by Halloween, Easter eggs colored before Easter Sunday, getting the Christmas tree up soon after Thanksgiving (and putting it all away before Valentine’s Day), and getting food on the table for dinner every night.  Making my sandwiches look like Mater from Pixar’s Cars is not a top priority for me most nights.  You have to be careful to not let Pinterest make you feel like a neglectful, under-achieving parent. That being said, our new favorite potato dish, baked ham glaze, and Irish soda bread came from Pinterest.

Similar to Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and my blog, Pinterest gives you great joy when someone follows your boards or “repins” one of your pins. I recently pinned a recipe for cinnamon sweet potatoes and was on cloud 9 because it got close to 100 repins.  Sounds silly but you know you’ve been there.  But seriously, like any social media and marketing site, it only has an impact if it is engaging, people are following you, you’re getting comments on your pins and most importantly with Pinterest, your pins are getting “repinned.”  To make this happen you have to explore other people’s boards, follow others, comment on pins, and repin other’s posts.  You also need to add pins regularly.

Pinterest logo labelLastly, Pinterest is a great place to practice cross-marketing.  If you have a collection of videos on your YouTube channel and several posts on your blog, Pinterest boards give you a place to market and share them.  Create a board on Pinterest with a theme and pin your videos and blog posts.  When your Pinterest followers click on your pin it takes them directly to your blog post.  With videos, it plays the video on Pinterest and allows you to click through to YouTube and watch it there as well.  Another way to increase traffic back to Pinterest is to create a hyperlink within your photos on your blog to a board on Pinterest.  If you click on the photos in my blogs about Survivor Leadership, you will be directed to a board on my Pinterest site called Survivor Leadership.  This board contains all of the photos from all of my blogs post about Survivor.  The pins on this board then link my Pinterest followers to my blog posts.  Cross-marketing is the best way to increase traffic across all of the platforms you’re using.

More and more people are finding Pinterest and joining the fun.  Pinterest’s numbers have exploded in early 2012.  Pinterest is nowhere near the world domination status of Facebook or Twitter. But another measure of success is the amount of media attention a site is getting – and in this category Pinterest is winning the race.  Pinterest is dominating the media lately.  I hope I have given you some ideas in this post on how you can join the party and use Pinterest to increase your presence online.  You will be sucked in initially and spend hours exploring, creating boards and pinning.  (At one point, I thought I needed a Pintervention.) Each day there are more and more companies, politicians and universities jumping on board but for now it is just me and all of these women.  And just like high school cooking class, I’m enjoying being outnumbered and part of the 10%.  Check out my boards, repin my pins and follow me.



Read other PC Pop blog posts about Social Media & Marketing:


Read other PC Pop blog posts about my issues with being a man (and a feminist):


Mad Men Style

In Fashion, fatherhood, GQ, life, Mad Men, Malavenda, metro, metrosexual, Movies, Pablo Malavenda, parenting, Pop Culture, Rat Pack, Sinatra, TV, Uncategorized on March 26, 2012 at 10:25 am

Growing Up with GQ — Part 2:

Either You’ve Got or You Haven’t Got STYLE!


Robin & the 7 Hoods


This is the second PC Pop blog post in a series called Growing Up with GQ.  As you know from previous PC Pop blog post (Growing Up with GQ), I grew up surrounded by men who took great pride in how they looked, smelled, and were proud to be one step ahead of the latest fashion.  Every man in my family was voted “Best Dressed” in high school; and someone in our family has continuously subscribed to GQ magazine since the early 70′s.  We were metro before there was a word for it.

Robin & the 7 HoodsRecently I have realized that my son is the sole heir of this marvelous legacy.  He’s the only Malavenda male in his generation.  That’s a lot of pressure on him — and me. I have been looking for inspiration in many places and searching for opportunities to make the point without triggering the “oh, dad” so typical these days.  Not sure if you have noticed but men are dressing better in movies and TV — and men and fashion is once again acceptable.  And thanks to shows like Mad Men and characters like Don Draper there is a renewed interest in the classic fashion styles of the past — even the ’60’s. One thing my son and I do have in common is our love of “black and white” movies and TV — classic cinema and television.  He and I (to the dread of my wife and daughter) watch a lot of the Dick Van Dyke Show and movies on the classic movie channels. He loves the George Clooney – Ocean’s movies; so, we watched the original from 1960. Last weekend, we stumbled on a movie similar to the original Ocean’s 11 that featured amazing fashion — Robin and the 7 Hoods starring the Rat Pack.

Robbo played by Frank Sinatra is a mobster from Indiana who is now in control of Chicago’s north side during pre-prohibition times. Robbo and his band of thieves which features Sammy Davis, Jr. and Dean Martin are different from the other gangsters (Peter Falk) and corrupt Sheriff (Victor Buono).  With some of his money Robbo with theSinatra, Dino, Bing help of an orphanage director (Bing Crosby) creates a nonprofit social services initiative.  In addition to the orphanage, they run a homeless shelter and soup kitchen. The movie is a great vehicle for the Rat Pack with great music, dancing — and great costume design. The movie score features some of the most memorable Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen songs like “My Kind of Town,” “Bang! Bang!,” “Any Man Who Loves His Mother,” and “Don’t Be a Do-Badder.”

Ole Blue Eyes, Bing, Dino and Sammy are also dressed to kill the entire movie. Mad Men - Men's StyleThe fashion and style of this movie are classic, mobster, glamorous 1910’s style with a Technicolor – 1960’s – Vegas – Rat Pack swagger. More importantly the fashion in this movie has helped me make sense of my family. I forgot about the connection between the appreciation of GQ style with the men in my family — and the Rat Pack. The song and dance routine, “Style,” from this movie says it better than I. As the song goes, “Either you’ve got – or you haven’t got – style.” It would even inspire Don Draper.

Watch this clip from Robin and the 7 Hoods.  I think it speaks for itself.



Today, with the recent fascination with everything Mad Men and Don Draper — perhaps there is hope for my son to be more conscious about fashion and how he looks, smells, and dresses. A father could hope for a kid whose “got it” — yes?

Growing up with GQ — Never Stack Up Your Patterns (and other fashion rules for men)

In College Students, Fashion, GQ, Malavenda, metro, metrosexual, Pablo Malavenda, Pop Culture on June 18, 2011 at 10:14 pm

I grew up surrounded by men who took great pride in how they looked, smelled, and were proud to be one step ahead of the latest fashion.  Every man in my family was voted “Best Dressed” in high school.  Buying a suit off the rack was unthinkable.  And it didn’t stop there.  They wore the best athletic shoes, ironed their under-shirts and jeans, never wore jeans or t-shirts to school, tweezed eyebrows, and had their own signature cologne. Someone in our family has continuously subscribed to GQ magazine since the early 70’s.  We were metro before there was a word for it.  These men were also tougher than anybody in the neighborhood but never afraid to wear pink. (My uncle wore a pink suit to my confirmation as he served as my sponsor and got a compliment from the bishop.)  Everyone wanted them on their team, wanted to be their friends, and envied their sense of style — and their mojo.

GQ was a must read.  GQ is great if you have tons of money and have the ability to be dressed by a designer.  GQ is useful for knowing what color is the new brown; how skinny or wide your tie or lapel should be; or if your pants should be plain front, straight leg, cuffed, pleated or skinny. (I could go on and on about skinny jeans but we’ll save that for another time.)  So you can imagine my horror when I see men mixing the patterns.  Every day it seems I see someone with a plaid shirt with plaid shorts or someone with a pattern tie with a plaid shirt and a striped suit.  Now I am told that it is the latest fashion to mix your patterns — that it is the current fashion rule that is OK to break. GQ calls it “stacking your patterns.”  Designers are promoting it and famous folks are wearing them.  But you have to be brave to defy such a long standing fashion rule.  And not everyone, strike that, very few can pull it off.  I have yet to see someone in my small town pull it off.  So Stop.  Please.  My advice is to follow the rules.  Here are a few, if you missed that lesson growing up.

  • Don’t mix patterns — if your shirt is plaid, striped or patterned, everything else should be a solid color
  • Tuck in your shirt and Wear a belt
  • Your belt should match your shoes — black belt with black shoes, brown shoes with a brown belt — and your watch band should match your belt
  • Only wear white pants and light suits between Memorial Day and Labor Day — never wear white after Labor Day
  • Don’t wear suede or leather in the summer
  • Wear socks
  • Socks should match your pants
  • White socks with athletic shoes only
  • Flip flops only at the beach or in the locker room
  • No socks with sandals – or should I say mandals
  • Iron your shirt, at least
  • Polish your shoes
  • Learn to tie a tie with a dimple — and never wear a tie too long or too short
  • Tie should complement your shirt and suit
  • Don’t be afraid of color
  • Undershirts should remain under your shirt
  • Sweatpants are for the gym only
  • Pajamas, lounge pants, and slippers are for bedtime not to be worn in public
  • Never wear camouflage
  • For nicer occasions (wedding, interview) wear a white shirt
  • Never take off your suit jacket at an event, meal or meeting
  • Don’t button the last button of your suit jacket
  • Suit jackets should be snug on your shoulder — pants should break once not gather on your shoes
  • Black with black; Blue with blue — black pants with black socks; blue pants or blue shirt with blue socks
  • Never wear black with brown or navy
  • Don’t mix metals — all gold or all silver — not both
  • Unless you’re in the NBA or a professional clown — Never wear blue with orange; never wear red with green; never wear purple with yellow
  • Comb your hair, use some product tame it but not too much so it looks slick or stiff
  • Shave, shower, and don’t wear too much cologne

If you want to be more fashionable than the rest of the neighborhood kids, then here are a few things to remember.

  • No pleats — only plain front pants
  • Straight legs — no flared legs
  • Medium width to skinny ties with medium sized collars
  • Leave the really skinny ties for the younger generation — but wide ties are out for all ages

Now you may after reading this think that I fancy myself a well dressed man but I don’t.  I’m a state worker.  I’ve worked for the state for many years and stopped trying to be the best dressed at work.  I do however know the rules and follow them and appreciate when others do as well.  I also cringe when I see the rules being broken.  I secretly wish I never knew the rules.  What a carefree life you might have if you didn’t know about the rules, didn’t care about the rules, and just dressed as if no one was watching.  Walking around with plaid shorts, a plaid shirt, flip flops, and not so fashionable messed up hair — Oh the freedom.

But for me — oh the pressure. So for now, please, please stop stacking up the patterns.

Good luck.